Here's what I think...

Thanks for voting on the baby poll! Not really surprised by the results. Most people have told me they think I'm having a girl. Well, you want to know what I'm thinking? Too bad. I'm going to tell you anyway! ;)

I'm sort of confused. And really, there's no way of truly knowing until you see it on the ultrasound or even until that beautiful baby actually enters the world. With Trevin, when people asked me what I thought I was having (and EVERYONE thought I was having a boy), I always said that I didn't really know, I'd say I had a slight inkling that it was a boy, I'd say about 60/40 as far as what I was thinking before the ultrasound. But when the ultrasound showed the little tripod, I was not one ounce surprised. I think if they would have said, "it's a girl!" they would have needed to scrape my jaw off the floor. Apparantly, I really did know I was having a boy, I just hadn't trusted my instincts.

So here's where I'm confused. Before Bryce and I had Trevin and we would think about the future of our family, I always saw myself being a mom to boys. I have NO IDEA why. I grew up with two sisters (and a brother) and a very girly mom. I am a girly girl. I won't deny it. So why did I see myself with boys? I don't know. So now, when the occasional person unknowingly says, "having two boys will be so much fun," or, when dreaming about the future, I slip and say, "the boys," it feels natural. "The boys," yeah, that sounds right...sounds right, but it doesn't look right, at least in the immediate future.

In the future, I see Trevin with a little sister (and let me tell you, I can already see that he is going to be an AWESOME big brother. We have two friends who just had babies and he is so enamored and so gentle with those little babies...it is too sweet.). Next summer, I see us attending Bryce's brother's wedding with a 4 month old baby girl in tow. And last night, I had a dream that we had a girl (who happened to be born at 20 weeks, weighing 9 lbs. 24 oz....yes, I said 24 oz., but that's a post for another time).

But maybe it's all wishful thinking. To be honest, I would love to have a girl. I think it would be so neat to experience one of each and for Bryce to experience having a daughter. I also LOVE the girl's name I have picked out and Bryce will actually consider it (I love the boys name, too, but Bryce doesn't like it...though he refused to discuss names until we know the gender), which let's be honest, just makes things a bit easier when it comes to naming our child. At the same time, I know that having two boys would be so much fun (and easy, because we have almost everything we need already).

So, to summarize my rambling, I really don't know what to think. My pregnancy has been different, but not that different. Even so, my inkling is that it's a girl...could just be wishful thinking. If they tell me it's a boy, I don't think I will be completely shocked...maybe. But of course, at any rate, I'll be happy with either result. And at this point, maybe I'm just 60/40 all over again. Ask me after the ultrasound what I thought we were having. I'm sure I'll have a better answer then!