this guy

My husband has the ability to drive me crazy. I can get pretty frustrated with him and then I try to pick fights. I'm a total brat about it all the time sometimes.

True to my genetic predisposition, I've been struggling with whacked out hormones for the last week or so. Yes, I know I'm a woman so I'm predisposed because of that, but I do believe those hormones truly affect me on a deeper level than your average gal.

I've been grumpy, frustrated, mad about stupid things, and the ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) have been running rampant in my brain. My poor hubby comes home to a wife who is mad at him for something that happened months ago.

So here's the thing - my husband is from peace country. He does not pick fights. He does not often fight fights (unless it's something that REALLY matters). To sum it up, he's sort of a "whatever" kind of guy. He really does not sweat any of the big or "small" stuff.

I am from perfect country. I like things to be right. I like things to be done, to be resolved. Forget the "big" and "small" stuff, I sweat EVERYTHING. I often pick fights because of this. Sometimes, to me, our "peace" and "perfect" countries mix about as well as oil and water. Enter the extra hormones, and it's definitely a struggle.

This past Sunday, I was working on dinner. Bryce had been out playing ultimate frisbee for the afternoon so the ANTs had plenty of time to creep into my head. When Bryce came into the kitchen, I, with the maturity of a child, avoided eye contact, didn't want him to touch me, and made it known with my body language that I did not really want to talk to him. He looked at me and asked the obvious question, "are you grumpy?" "It's just been a rough day," was my curt reply. It had been a "rough" day. Those ANTs are brutal. With that, Bryce headed for the living room, likely just away from me.

A few minutes later, Bryce came back in and I was in the midst of cutting tomatoes. Even while I was looking at the cutting board, I could feel his stare. I looked up to see his big brown eyes looking at me and the hint of a smile on his face. "What?" I rudely asked. To that, he very sincerely said "I just love you a lot."

You might be thinking, oh that's sweet or wow, what a great husband. I wanted to slug him. If you've ever tried to pick a fight with someone and they don't take your bait, it is FRUSTRATING. Why aren't you bothered by the way I'm acting? Don't you want to just yell at me? Can't we just hash all this out right here and now? were things I could have said. But I didn't. I just simply said "I love you, too" and went on with my work.

The next day I was doing dishes after lunch and it hit me. The way Bryce loves me is the way God loves me. I know that God uses our relationships with people as a glimpse of His love for us, and as that realization hit me, I truly saw that whole moment between Bryce and I as a gift. I saw Bryce as a gift. God has been using him to show me how deep and unconditional His love is for me. Even when I am a brat, even when I ignore Him, God still wants to have a relationship with me. He still loves me.

I've always been amazed at Bryce's ability to love people the way Jesus does. He's always been great at being patient with difficult people or loving the "unlovely" in others. I love that about him and now I love that I see God's love for me in him, too.